1999年02月23日
バカの相手は疲れるぜ
音楽ＣＤを買った。"Natalie Imbruglia" のデビューアルバム。ラジオをつけていると１日に何度も大ヒット曲 "Torn" が流れるので、サビが頭から離れなくなってしまったのだ。
家では大抵ＰＣを使って聞く。いつも通りに入れると、いきなり背景が消えてジャケットの画像が出てきた。"Natalie Imbruglia Web Page" のボタンを押して進んでいくと、つまりはＡＯＬの１００時間無料体験ができるようになっていて、sign up してから目的の web site に行けるよ、ということらしい。１か月以内に電話して解約すればお金は全然かからないから、リスクはないのだそうな。
日本でもこういうプロモーションをやっているんだろうか？すべての音楽ＣＤに入れたとしても、そこから実際に無料体験まで進む人の割合はアメリカよりも少なさそうな気がする。大体、アメリカでもそれほど多いとは思えない。
今回、僕は少数派になってみた。ＡＯＬを全然見てみたことなかったから。登録を済ませて繋いで、ボタンを１つ押してみると、"File is updated! loading..." とファイル名の表示とともに、３分ほど待たされる。普通ダウンロードするかどうかはユーザーに確認しないか？と思いながら待つと、次は別のファイルを見つけて、即ダウンロード。更に３分ほど待つ。それが終ったと思うと、また別のファイル。また３分。また別の。また３分。また............... 僕は、モデムから電話線を引き抜いた。
早速カスタマーサービスに電話。「解約したい」と伝える。アメリカで何かを解約する時の常として、理由を聞かれる。非常にやさしい声で懇切丁寧な話し方だ。
「今日契約して１７分しか使ってないじゃないか！一体何が気に入らないんだ？」
「いろいろやって、いざ繋がったら１７分間ずっとダウンロード画面だった。それを見ていたから嫌になった」
「君がインストールしたのはバージョン3.0じゃないのか？それは８年も前のもので、そんなものを入れたら新しいバージョンに上げなきゃいけないのは仕方ないよ」
「今ヒット中の音楽ＣＤから入れたんだが。最新のＣＤには８年前のソフトが入っているのかい？」
「分かった、これからバージョン4.0のＣＤ－ＲＯＭを送ろう。１週間ぐらいで届くはずだ。そして２か月間接続無制限で無料にするから、それで試してくれないか？」
「分かった、じゃあこうしよう。せっかく電話したんだからとりあえず解約してくれ。ＣＤが届いてからもう一度検討して、また入り直すよ」
すると、とたんに口調が早口でぶっきらぼうになって、キャンセル番号を言ってすぐに切られてしまった。これではＣＤ－ＲＯＭも届くかも怪しい。あとで友達に聞くと、会社によっては「解約依頼を取り下げさせる」ことがカスタマーサービス係の大きな勤務評価ポイントだったりするそうだ。それで彼は怒ったのだろうか。それとも、僕はなにか無茶苦茶な間違いをして諦められただけなのだろうか。
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